The greatest and most humbling gift.

This morning I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, my children were safe in their beds and the sun shone through the windows and life could not have been better. Yet yesterday some one stood in our Church and told us of life in their country. They came from the Sudan, a country torn by fighting, poverty and lack of education. Can I stop and imagine how it would feel to wake up to the sound of fighting, a day filled with fear and the uncertainty that mine or my families lives may be there at the end of the day.For me they are horrors beyond my imagination. But, today, I am encouraged to and have received cake, presents and cards. Yet when asked "What can we do to help?" the Bishop from the Sudan replied "Prayer, pray for peace and education".

So simple an answer, prayer. In our lives surrounded by cosy comfort and pleasure, our solutions are often much more material. I have been thinking for weeks about what I could do and have for my birthday.  What would make my life easier and happier. I was stopped in my tracks by what the Bishop said. I know that nothing I buy is actually going to make my life better, happier or easier, but I will still do it. We all do, we are encouraged to, our lives are full of colour, peace, food and comfort. We are complacent about what really matters, what will really make us happy and what can really change our lives. We are complacent because discomfort and fear is hidden behind our satisfied and easy lives. We do not live in fear, we do not hunger and therefore we do not see the need to seek comfort in prayer and answers in God. We  think we already have it all.

My eldest son often complains that I recite prayers slowly, as he puts it "like an audio book". I can understand that my slow and careful pronunciation of prayers I know by heart could be annoying. However, I am determined that though I might be able to rattle those words of ten to the dozen. I do not ever want them to become habit, something I do not mean or think about when I say them. They should be as important the last time we say them, as the first time we struggle to get our mind around them. We would not rush a conversation with a friend, why should we rush one with God? It is a small gesture and I can not pretend I find prayer easy either. It is like much else in my life, something I set about to do with all the right intentions but very rarely succeed in doing properly. I have lists of people and things to pray for then, I sit down to pray and my mind goes blank. Some times I am to tired or just decide there is something better to do. Sometimes like the disciples, I just fall asleep.  

I wear my crucifix day and night. It is a reminder to me that God is there and I need to make time for him. It reminds me that there is suffering in the world and I should pray for them. It reminds me I am a Christian and I should behave a certain way. When I take it off, for special occasions it often feels like I am consciously deciding to put God in a drawer in preference of something pretty. Sometimes I feel I do this in my life too. I put God and my beliefs in the drawer in favour of something easier and more pleasant.  Then afterwards, when I have had my guilty moments, I value the power of prayer and forgiveness even more.

Prayer is a powerful thing, we should never underestimate it's value. It is worth far more than anything we can own in our lifetimes. Faith in God may have it's responsibilities and they may be easy to forget or overlook in the have it all your own way culture we have here. Living responsibly is never easy, it is a challenge and we will fail, we are human. However God listens and answers our prayers, for forgiveness, healing, peace and help. Because of this they are the greatest gift we can give and the most humbling gift to receive.