5 years on

When the boxes were packed and the house empty and bare, we went to Church for the last time. I remember turning to a member of clergy at the post Mass leaving party and saying “How do I cope with this?” With the clerical voice of authority and wisdom he said “Do you drink?” Slightly bemused I replied in the affirmative. “Well then a bottle a day should suffice.” He said with a smile. So with these parting jewels of wisdom, we left for the last time.

Packed up in one lorry and down to the warmer end of the country, it may as well have been a different world. Stepping into the life of ordinands and later clergy is like stepping into an alternate reality. It is a time warped bubble of hectic serenity.

You step into a world that is very much like being back at boarding school, complete with afternoon tea with children full of fun running home from school as fast as possible for that all too precious cake.  You live in a world separate from reality, yet you cross the borders of college land and become deeply involved in reality. You encounter friendships and experiences that don’t just change you in the moment but for the rest of your life. So much changed the day the one family from the north east of England packed their bags and left for Oxford.

They talk of Formation (or what was known among spouses as the “F” word), when you leave your life you do so sceptical that such experiences can truly change who you are. But they do. It is like they take a raw family, naive and unaware and scrunch you together, run you through the tumble dryer several times and hang you out to dry in a completely different shape and colour to the way you went in.

You learn more about yourself and your family than you ever thought possible. You learn the meaning of sacrifice and the strength of family bonds that come out of such sacrifice. You know how the Priesthood works, you have seen others live it and work it but nothing hits you quite like the reality of your own husband training and living the Priesthood. The 9-5 is gone, the predictability of life vanishes, and your life stops at the drop of a hat, others become important. Your house is no longer just a home but an office. Simple things like support and confession become treks into the wilderness of next door parishes, because in yours your husband is the support and the confessor.  Most of all nothing is so bizarre and awesome as seeing your husband vested and offering Mass and baptising the faithful.

It has turned our world upside down. Would I change it for a minute? NO, never. It is chaotic and it has changed all of us but it has made us stronger, happier and the changes you see your husband make to other people’s lives is worth every single sacrifice. The joy is in the giving but also in the receiving and we have received the best life filled with so many blessings. Deo Gratias.