Remember with humility and gratitude

"I remember everything. Memory fills my body as much as blood and bones"

The Testament of Mary, Colm Toibin

Now I am quite prepared to accept that you have heard more than enough from me in the last few days. I also appreciate that I have been at best slightly pessimistic in my posts. I am hoping that (as the sunshine seems to have returned) what I have to say is going to be more positive. 

The Testament of Mary, is a book that attempts to look at how our Blessed Mother may have felt during the later years of her son's life. It is not a book that entirely sits easily with me, but you can not really argue with the above quote. However Mary may or may not have felt about her son's ministry, one thing has to be unequivocally true, she could not have forgotten it. As a Mother myself, I can say the imprint of my children's heartaches and joys are indelibly printed on my memory. I live their lives along side them and hopefully saddle some of their burdens for them. It is my job to stand in support of them, whether they see fit to follow a path I see as right or decide to fall into a pattern of life I find deeply uncomfortable. If and when they fall, I am there to pick up the pieces. When they succeed I am there to celebrate their achievements.

For a Mother to stand by and allow their children to make their life their own is one of the hardest things we can do. The desire to protect them from all harm is overwhelming. For our Blessed Mother, she had no choice but to let her son's divine father's plans unfold. She could not protect him from what had to happen. It is enough to break anyone's heart. It would not be surprising if the memory of her son's ministry and crucifixion, filled her as much as her blood and bones. If it were not for this all encompassing memory though, the revelation of his resurrection should not have been so awesome.

Especially during Lent the story of our Lord's suffering is recited in it's many forms of devotion and reflection. From the suffering caused by temptations to the final days of his life focused on in Holy week, we come into contact with his life. We form our own memories based on these devotions and stories. These memories affect how we go out into society and live in our lives. Each Christian  life should be lived in the image of Christ, that image we take out in ourselves is formed from our memories of the way Christ's life is brought into ours. One of the most startling memories I have of Christ's life was brought to me when I was on retreat in my late teenage years. Someone played me a short compilation video from The Passion of The Christ with the back round music of Bryan Adams "Everything I do, I do it for you"

Now, I know there are many theological issues with the film as a whole but this simple stark graphic image of our Lord's suffering had a profound effect on me then. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude that someone should do this not just for everyone else but for me aswell. Now accurate or inaccurate in it's precise representation, our faith is based primarily on this event in Jesus' life. The memory of this sacrifice and the knowledge that God's purpose in doing this was to forgive us our sins, should fill us all with gratitude and humility. We should then take this gratitude and humility into our lives and share it with others. We should be grateful we are alive, that we have a chance to make a difference to the lives of others. We should have the humility to take our lives and sacrifice our comfort in order to make that Christ like difference to other peoples lives.  

Jesu, may thy cross defend me,
And thy saving death befriend me, 
Cherished by thy deathless grace;
When to dust my dust returneth,
Grant a soul that to thee yearneth
In thy Paradise place. 
From Maria Desolata 
A devotion by Fr Ian Brooks, SSC