As time goes by..............

I can not believe that this year has gone past so quickly. It is has been a year of many journeys, some completed, some abandoned and some yet to reach an end. I have in the space of a year stepped back and faced a past I thought I never could. I have examined and re-examined my faith and beliefs in a very personal way. It has been the year in which my youngest started school, leaving me at home without children for the first time in 12 years. Therefore there has been no point in this last year  when I have not been changing a part of me. Hopefully it has all been a development for the better and not for worse. Certainly, I am now fitter than I ever have been and there is a quiet stillness behind my chaotic life that I thought I would never have.

I know it will seem, odd to some of you that I talk of the end of a year. But for us and our life, it is nearly a year since the journey towards our lives post college began. It was an injection of reality into a life that I had been in denial about. I had not really thought about, what it would mean to leave college. I had only thought about my intense desire to just get out. For many reasons I have found our time here hard. It has taught me many lessons about the Church that I needed to learn, but has also challenged very deeply the traditional beliefs which I have.However a year can make a huge difference.

Last July someone told me "Use this year to sort out your life, then you will all be ready for Parish life" Well I took him at his word, and have done precisely that. I have gone on a journey of discerning quite where and how I fit in, who I am and how to put the past behind me.  The vast expanse of time during the day that has suddenly appeared since my daughter started school, has been used to good effect. I had expected it to be a time of loneliness and boredom, however it has never been dull. I have spent much more time thinking, which has enabled me to start writing again, create small projects for myself around the house, develop my faith and run a fundraising project.

I am most grateful to the people who have encouraged me along the way. Thankful for those who have had the unfortunate experience of being my sounding board and still imparted their wisdom and guidance.  I know that a new journey is only just beginning, I am sure the pathway will be just as confusing as the one here has been. However, I feel more equipped to deal with what life is going to throw at me. My only regret is that the wonderful Churches and Chapels that I have grown to love and be part of over the last year have to be left behind.