When you know that the minute you even so much as twitch your leg, you will experience pain, lying still under the duvet becomes so much more than "I don't want to get out of bed". I am not particularly good at bearing the burden of pain. All I can say is I have a great admiration for those who suffer pain daily, with no chance of it ever stopping. The pain I am experiencing will be (hopefully and thankfully) temporary. Nevertheless in me, it does rather bring out the temptation to hide and withdraw.
It has made me reflect first of all on the suffering of Christ. When beaten, tortured and tormented, he did not go and curl up in the corner and give in. He stood in defiance of the suffering and carried on until it killed him. So, therefore throughout history and into the present day we see references to those who will suffer pain, torture and even death rather than relent their faith. Day to day there are many who endure pain not just in one place but throughout their bodies, often smiling and embracing the world. I wish I knew their secret. I can take most things and smile easily, but pain seems to take an extra effort and an awful lot of prayer. I am apt to feel sorry for myself and as ashamed as I am to admit more than just a little willing to hide beneath that duvet.
Yet, when one chides oneself out from the beneath the duvet the suffering often has it's rewards. I have tried my best not to retreat, complain or withdraw. God's grace is an amazing thing and I am glad that I have made the effort to receive it over the weekend.
God's grace helps us to carry the most extraordinary of challenges. As humans we are fragile and weak, but when we open our hearts to God's grace we become capable of so much more. Alone we can torture ourselves without anyone else helping it along. We give up on fights and struggles and retreat. When we open our hearts to God he gives us the strength to go the extra mile. He can calm our private tortures, forgive us our many wrongs and restore us to wholeness to carry on. He gives us a grace that eases our burdens and gives us the capability to love others and ease theirs too. His grace is free and over flowing. He gives us enough for ourselves and enough for us to share, so that others might see his love through us. We should respect the gift of grace we are given, we should always be ready to receive it. Always be ready to listen and learn. Most importantly of all we should be willing to show others the way to God's grace. Like the wine vessels at the Wedding in Cana, there is more than enough for everybody. Let us show others God's love not in spite of our suffering, but because we have suffered we understand the value of God's grace and love all the more.
